How To Get Someone Arrested Over Eight-Dollar Paper Towels

Apparently it’s not that hard, even when that’s not your intention. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

After a fabulous weekend in San Antonio with my ETBU girls (of which I have no evidence pictures, because I left my camera at home) it was time to get back into “Mom” mode and go grocery shopping for the family last night. So I’m loading up my groceries (around 10 pm), and as I pull away to the end of the parking lot, I look back in my rearview mirror and notice I left my paper towels on  the bottom of the shopping basket. As I u-turn I see this young dude snatch them up and put them in his car. (He was parked beside my spot.)

So I parked my car in the same spot I was in previously and nicely ask the gentlemen to give me my paper towels back as I was just down the lane, saw him put them in the car and would like to have them back. (they were 8 bucks!! the Brawny kind!!) Whereas, he proceeds to get very nasty and tell me that since I left them on the basket,  now they’re his. To which I reply that unless HE has a receipt showing he paid the money for them, they are NOT his, as they are merchandise he took that he didn’t pay for and I have proof I did. When he still didn’t budge, I informed him I would go get the security guard at the front of the store to come over and settle this. I guess he didn’t think I would really do it, because he kinda laughed and said, ” Go ahead.”

Obviously, this criminal didn’t know who he was messing with. Now it became about the principle of the matter over the paper towels. So I’m thinking, “Ok, I’ll get the guard, show him my receipt, match the ID numbers, get my paper towels back and this will all be over, right?”

Oh no. As the guard and I are walking back we see the guy running to the other side of the parking lot (with my paper towels!!!) and proceed to throw them over the fence of the apartment complex next door to Wal-mart! When the guard ran after him to confront him, he tried to say he threw a cigarette over the fence. Although us and two others saw differently. 

Sooo, this is the point when things start to get out of hand.  It appeared the guard couldn’t get my personal property back from the private property they now called home, so he calls the cops. Meanwhile he goes to get the general manager, all while this idiot stands in front of me,  taunting me by saying we have no merchandise on him to prove he stole anything.  (because 4 witness acounts and the simple matter of looking over the fence at my paper towels wouldn’t prove anything..he was a real genius, this dude)

By this time 20-30 minutes has passed and I’m getting worried about my groceries. As the manager and guards come out, the gentleman in question tries to make some excuse to go back in Wal-mart, but they follow him to the front of the store and stay with him til the police arrived to make sure he didn’t leave. All I’m wanting are my paper towels, a refund, or a replacement . But in order to do that, a report had to be made by me and the store to the police.

Now this is where I need to sidebar and say something really quick. I have had two run-ins with the Fort Worth police dept (for this incident and some noisy neighbors we had once) and both times they have gone overboard to be helpful, respectful, and trustworthy. So I need to retract part of a blog I’ve said earlier about all police I’ve dealt with on the job being rude and unprofessional .The officers for this dept. have been the much-welcomed exception to my experiences.

Anyway, they arrived pretty quickly and drove to where the manager and I were standing in the parking lot. They asked us where the merchandise was, and where the alleged perpetrator was. (At the front entrance to the Wal-mart. ) So we waited by my car while they went to apparently question him. 

And here is when this thief goes from merely be cited to making his new address a jail cell.

As we watch in disbelief, (we can’t hear anything), while they have him beside the car he starts shaking his head (they wanted him to sit in the car while they talked to us) and then begins SWINGING at the officers!! It took all 4 cops to get him on the ground and handcuffed while he’s screaming and such. They finally get him in the car and then drive over to us. One officer has bloody knuckles, another has scaped legs under his pants and cuts, and the dude in the car looked like he had a black eye swelling from hitting the ground. I was in shock and kept explaining how sorry I was this was all over paper towels, but they were very nice and said he made the choice to escalate and I deserved what I paid for and did nothing wrong. This kid (he was like 19) had no record or anything, and was now going to jail for unlawful detaining, assaulting a police officer, and theft.

Finally, we gave our report and the manager went in to get me some new paper towels. Meanwhile, an ambulance and fire truck came up to the scene to treat the officers and the suspect for their injuries. So here’s my little orange VUE  in the middle of a sea of police cars, officers, firemen, EMT men, all their vehicles, the general manager, security guards, and onlookers.

And all over an eight-dollar, eight pack of paper towels. Only me.

12 Responses to “How To Get Someone Arrested Over Eight-Dollar Paper Towels”

  1. You go girl! This is worthy of an episode of Cops! Didn’t notice any cameras, did you?!

  2. what a night! i think the great story you got out of it all makes it worth it ;) and this may have been the best thing that ever happened to that 19 yr. old–a little jail time may be just what he needed to figure out his priorities in life!

  3. That is NUTS!!!! I can’t believe that guy had the stupidity to lie and make such a fuss over paper towels!!!

    I would have done EXACTLY what you did. All that guy had to do was give you the paper towels back and he could have gone home. I’m glad you didn’t let him get away with this.

  4. If, after the police beat him, you went and cleaned up his face with the paper towels, I think it would make for a pretty touching Brawny commercial.

    Then again, I’m not their target audience.

  5. LOL!! Yeah, John..but I think it would have ended up like some Quentin Tarintino pic where I smother him with the roll instead…THAT would appeal to your demographic I think!

  6. Sounds like this guy was nuts! I think I would have been tempted to do the same thing but wouldn’t want him having access to my name and address (police report). Hope its all over with!

  7. Gosh Mandy, you have to be such a trouble maker! LOL

    Thats insane, that guy was obviously an idiot!

  8. WoW! Seriously! You’re a stronger woman than I. I would have just gotten in my car and left.

  9. Oh my word Mandy!
    What an incredible story! This is so something i would have done, if i pay my 8 bucks, i am sure not going to watch some guy walk off with it! Although i would have been terrified to walk up to him, i would have just got his plates and reported him.
    I am so glad this story ends with you and some paper towels being safe ;-)
    What did Lance say about all of this?

  10. I guess he really needed those paper towels.

  11. Yeah, I guess he really did!

    And Crystal, basically Lance was partially amused that I would end up in a situation like this, partially angered and scared that I was going to get shot or something, and finally I think he was mostly resigned to the fact that his wife isn’t the “walking away” type.
    Although, I STRONGLY stress that had a) it been in a deserted parking lot, b) the guy looked really dangerous, or c) I had my kids with me, then yeah, I would have driven away and eaten the cost.

  12. As your Mom, I am right there with Lance. At first, it is sooo funny and unbelieveable, on the other hand my baby girl confronting someone who could have had a gun or knife, terrifying. And now reading it a second time to your father and sister, I catch the part of 10:00 PM!!!!! It just proves you nor your sister listened to any of my safety lectures. I am glad, no more than glad, thrilled and thankful to God you are ok.
    Love you,
    Mom
    P.S. You are still a great story writer.

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